How to Handle Toxic High-Performers on Engineering Teams
Designed for Engineering managers with 1-3 years of experience, recently promoted from technical roles, who lead high-performing but culturally challenging team members. to spark real collaboration and high-energy learning.
A 90-minute interactive hybrid session designed for engineering managers facing a common dilemma: top contributors whose negative behaviors threaten team morale, retention, or delivery. Participants are under pressure to deliver results and often receive conflicting signals from leadership about valuing performance versus culture.
The Million-Dollar Dilemma
Kick off by describing a true, anonymized scenario: An engineer whose code output is world-class but who routinely undermines colleagues in standups. Ask: 'If this person delivers 30% more than anyone else, but three teammates have quit, is their value still net positive?' Invite silent poll responses and collect reactions, highlighting the tension and curiosity surrounding the topic.
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Why this works
Provokes cognitive dissonance and frames the workshop with a real-world, high-stakes paradox. Research shows curiosity primes the brain for new information.
Busting the Top-Talent Myth
Present 3 real quotes from leaders: 'High-performers are irreplaceable,' 'Culture isn’t as important as results,' and 'One bad apple only spoils the bunch if you let it.' Have participants choose which statement they most unconsciously agree with, then reveal research and stories debunking these beliefs.
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Why this works
Surfaces hidden beliefs and gently challenges them, leveraging the power of anchoring and contrast for deeper learning.
Private Chat, Public Win
Invite participants to imagine they must give feedback to a toxic high-performer tomorrow. In small breakouts or chat, they draft one opening line they could actually use—no pressure to share aloud unless they're willing. Facilitator shares 2-3 strong examples.
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Why this works
Reduces anxiety by keeping participation low-stakes and focused on preparation, not perfection.
Red Flag Rapid-Fire
Facilitator displays a sequence of specific, escalating behaviors ('Interrupts in standups,' 'Refuses PR feedback,' 'Mocks colleagues in public channels'). Teams compete to raise colored cards or thumbs-up/down to signal if and when it crosses from quirky to toxic. Debrief on early warning signs.
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Why this works
Injects energy, gamifies judgment, and trains pattern recognition under time pressure.
The CEO’s Email Lands
Read a real (sanitized) dilemma: The CTO writes, 'We can’t afford to lose Alex, but three people cited him in their exit interviews.' Ask each group to draft a 2-sentence manager response balancing business needs and team health. Groups share their drafts, then discuss pros and cons.
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Why this works
Anchors theoretical concepts in a live, thorny dilemma, requiring participants to practice situational judgment.
Culture Contract Reflection
End with an individual reflection: 'What is one thing you will do this week to protect your team’s culture, even if it means a hard conversation?' Have participants jot it down and, if comfortable, share with a partner or in chat as a personal commitment.
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Why this works
Promotes transfer of learning by linking intentions to action and fostering a sense of accountability.
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