How to Solicit Honest Feedback from Defensive Leadership Teams
Designed for Senior project leads in mid-sized tech firms who must regularly facilitate feedback sessions with C-level executives known for defensiveness. to spark real collaboration and high-energy learning.
A 90-minute physical workshop for senior project leads at a regional tech firm. Sessions are in-person, and attendees regularly face stonewalling or evasive feedback from executive-level leaders. The pain points include anxiety about damaging relationships, wasted feedback sessions, and lack of actionable input from leadership.
The 'Why Didn’t You Say?' Icebreaker
Kick off with a curiosity-sparking exercise: participants recall a time they withheld feedback from a leader, then guess each other's reasons. This builds intrigue and reveals common instincts. Everyone jots down a secret, swaps cards, and others try to guess what held their peer back.
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Why this works
Curiosity is catalyzed when participants reflect on hidden motives and see their patterns mirrored in others. The payoff is immediate: everyone realizes withholding feedback is normal, demystifying the task.
Defensiveness: Fact or Fiction?
Challenge misconceptions by presenting statements about leadership defensiveness ('Leaders never want honest feedback', 'Defensive behavior is always personal') and letting participants vote 'fact', 'fiction', or 'grey zone'. Reveal research-based truths, discussing why defensive reactions are often misunderstood.
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Why this works
Debunking myths helps participants recalibrate their approach, reducing anxiety and bias when soliciting feedback.
Silent Partner Feedback Walk
Participants pair up and walk around the room (or breakout virtually), silently thinking about a feedback question they’d like to ask a defensive leader. After two minutes, pairs share their question and receive a gentle prompt to reframe it for maximum honesty and minimal defensiveness.
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Why this works
Low-pressure participation lets everyone privately reflect and rehearse before sharing—reducing vulnerability and boosting confidence.
Rapid-Fire Roleplay Blitz
Turn up the energy with a lightning round of roleplays: each participant has 60 seconds to play both an executive and a project lead. One asks for feedback, the other responds defensively ('That’s not how we do things here'). After each round, quick debriefs highlight what worked and what felt stuck.
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Why this works
High-energy activation breaks down barriers and normalizes defensive responses, helping participants practice real-time pivots.
The CEO’s Tough Dilemma
Present a real-world dilemma: 'The CEO has just announced a major shift but refuses to accept feedback, citing ‘vision alignment’.' Teams brainstorm two ways to solicit honest feedback without triggering defensiveness. Share best ideas and discuss why certain approaches work better.
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Why this works
Engaging with authentic dilemmas bridges theory and practice, making skills immediately relevant.
Personal Feedback Journal Moment
Wrap by inviting participants to journal one insight about their own defensiveness and one action they’ll take to foster honesty in their next leadership feedback session. Share voluntarily or keep private, anchoring the workshop in personal connection and growth.
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Why this works
Active reflection creates ownership and ensures the learning sticks, especially when linked to personal experience.
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